some nights.

There are some songs that I can really get into... and then all of a sudden, I realize what the song/lyrics are actually saying, and I feel like it needs to be processed further.  That's how I feel with this song.  For me, this song really shows a clear picture of how people are truly hurting... And it's not just in the words of the song, it's also in the style of music: What do I stand for?Most nights I don't really know... anymore.

"But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don't know anymore..."

"I was never one to believe the hype - save that for the black and white
I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked,
but here they come again to jack my style"

"Well, Some nights, I wish that this all would end
Cause I could use some friends for a change
And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again
Some nights, I always win, I always win..."

"So this is it? I sold my soul for this?"

"Well, this is it guys, that is all -
five minutes in and I'm bored again
Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands"

What really gets me reflecting is how the lyrics of this song are masked by the upbeat tempo and catchy tunes... reflects how so easily and often we mask our own pain and hurt with activities and fake smiles.

I think these lyrics are a true reflection of how worn-down hurt people can truly be... to be searching for something unknown, without hope, without answers, without support... I want to have better answers for those people. I want to be so well grounded in my understanding of who Christ is and be able to articulate clearly what He has done in my life, so that when I do have conversations with people who are searching for answers, I can be a source of hope for them.  I'll never have all of the answers, but I can point people in the right direction, and that's all that I really want... to be a vessel for hope in Christ Jesus in a very depraved world.