I’ve struggled to know what to say over the past few days. I’ve seen the videos and have watched the news surrounding the death of George Floyd. What do you say when you’re not even sure if you have the right to speak? What do you say when there are no words — just sadness and grief? How can any of this be ok?

I often find it is easier to feel the sadness but to stay silent. Perhaps that is out of a desire to respect and not act as though I have a voice at all in a world that I don’t have to struggle in. I want to avoid entitlement. Who am I to think that I have anything of value to add to this conversation?

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

— Desmond Tutu

Yesterday, I felt convicted. As I was scrolling through the many Instagram stories and posts, one of my dear friends posted this quote: “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” -Desmond Tutu. That is the last thing that I want… to choose the side of injustice. Because I want justice. I have felt the anger over injustice in my own life before, and this should bring those same feelings ten-fold. Who am I if I do not give a voice to the voiceless? Who am I if I choose to stay silent?

THIS IS NOT OK.

Nothing about the news of the death of George Floyd sits well with me. I’ve said to my husband several times over the past few days “How can this happen?” So where do I go from here? What are the next steps when the issues feel so big and hopeless and I feel so small and inadequate?

My husband and I have recently decided to work through devotions together on the topic of wisdom. We have felt our own injustices as I lost my job a few months ago and these days we are often wrestling with knowing what to do next… how do we know what is right and what is best for our future and for this current stage of life? Last night we were focusing mostly on Proverbs 2 and I couldn’t think about myself… as I read this passage, the tears streamed down my face and all I could think about was George Floyd. His family and his friends kept swirling around in my mind. People who have to live with the reality that they could find themselves in the same situation someday — tears of sorrow and grief over such brokenness.

In so many ways, I can’t even fathom what I’m seeing and reading in the news. How can people be filled with so much hatred or self-righteousness to belittle another human being just because of the color of their skin or how they dress or for their religion? How was there no compassion or awareness when this man said that he could not breathe? Was this fear? Was this hatred? Was this self-righteousness? I live in a city on a block with a diverse mix of neighbors all up and down my street and it has never crossed my mind to be scared of any of them because of the color of their skin. I can’t even fathom the reality that this is even real — that people still live in fear or with such hatred. It still seems like the news clips that I see on my TV must be fiction and can’t possibly be the world that I live in today.

So what do we do when we are facing injustice and we don’t know where to go with it?

Proverbs 2:6-11

For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He stores up success for the upright;
He is a shield for those who live with integrity
so that he may guard the paths of justice
and protect the way of his faithful followers.
Then you will understand righteousness, justice
and integrity — every good path.
For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will delight you.
Discretion will watch over you,
and understanding will guard you.

Proverbs 2 is my prayer today. When I don’t feel like I have the words to tackle the injustice that I feel in my heart, I am praying that God will work out these verses in my life.

May we all focus on moving forward in living with integrity and fighting for justice. And as we do so, may God give us wisdom to know what to say and understand what to do as we face more and more injustice in our world.